What about socialization?? (My favorite topic!)

I used to be one of those people who thought that "socialization" really did mean that it was critical for our children to interact with kids their own age on a regular basis. When I first started homeschooling, and a conversation about it with someone would start in the "socialization" direction, I would respond with the typical, "Well, we have them in gymnastics classes once a week, and they play with their neighborhood friends ALL THE TIME, and then there's church friends, and cousins their age... etc, etc,...."
What do you think about when you hear the word socialization in reference to children? You probably think, like most people do, that it means that a child can stand up for him/herself in a group situation, right? The child has good self esteem, and can play well with kids their own age. They aren't shy or backwards, or hiding behind their parents, right? Sometimes a "socialized" child is one who is expected to be downright obnoxiously opinionated, right? At least they aren't that sickly white "never seen the sun", always in the house at the table doing bookwork, homeschool nerd, right? Socialization is a good thing, right? That's what I used to think to! Please click on this link, or copy and paste into your address bar, for the dictionary's definition of socialization.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/socialization

I was shocked to learn that what I'd heard in some homeschool book I read a long time ago was actually true! I figured it was some biased for homeschooling definition they dug up or made up!
But just googling "dictionary" and clicking on the top choice, and then pasting the word socialization in to the word bar, I came up with more/most of the definition of socialization.
Basically socialization means that your kid/s are:
1.Placed under government, or group ownership control
2.Adopt the current behaviour patterns of the surrounding culture
3.Learn interpersonal and interactional skills that are in conformity with the values of one's society.
4.The socialization of children to the norms of their culture" [syn: socialisation, acculturation, enculturation]

These are real defenitions of socialization. Don't believe me? click on the link!

There is only one definition out of the six available there that refers to what I think MOST people think that socialization means:
v. intr.: To take part in social activities.

I don't know about you, but I don't WANT my child to be socialized in the way the dictionary defines it! I mean the part about social activities is ok, but what about the rest?
I don't WANT my kids to adopt societies ways or values! OR be under government/group ownership control! I want my kids to be thinkers for themselves! Not only in business, and morals, and spiritual beliefs, but in many other ways as well. Anyone who has met my kids for the first time, usually compliments me on how polite they are, or how well behaved. They are mature for their ages when compared to most of the selfish kids in today's society. And that comes from their training. The "socialization" that they have received from us.
Whenever I see my 10 year old just go right up to another kid, and say "Hi! How are you?" and strike up a conversation about Pokemon, or X-box, or anything else that he finds they have in common, I smile at how "socialized" he is. Or my 8 year old son runs off from us into a crowd of 150 people yelling, "Don' worry Mom, I'll find my team!" I picture how some people think homeschoolers hide behind Momma's skirts. I smile, and then laugh out loud, and then have to comment to my husband how much I enjoy homeschooling, and proving people wrong. He laughs at me. He doesn't really care what people think. Maybe someday I'll reach that point. But for now, I can always blog about socialization!
Now, entering our 6th year of homeschooling, and reaching the end of our first year of our way of unschooling, I love seeing my children blossoming socially. They interact with ages 0 to 83 (I'm not sure they've ever met anyone older than that), in the same ways. Looking them straight in the eyes, respectfully, and talking in full sentences (no mumbling). It would not occur to them to treat someone who is not their age any differently. Never being in school, THEY'VE NEVER BEEN SOCIALIZED! :)