Frustrated with the textbooks

"Word problems are probably a good example. Why do sheets and sheets of inane word problems (do I multiply? do I add? why do they want to break that cookie in half?) when they occur naturally in the real world where they are full of connections and real meaning: "I want to buy this game that costs $50 and I have already saved $20. I get $5 a week in allowance so if I save it all how many weeks until I can buy the game?"; "It takes 45 minutes to drive to Grammy's house and we want to be there by 1pm for lunch. What time do we have to leave?"; "I want to buy this item for $5 and this item for $7. Do I have enough money?"; "We want to build a skateboard ramp. How much wood do we need to buy?" Don't turn these questions into a "lesson" - that would be thoroughly annoying - and would likely discourage the kids from ever asking out loud again (or listening to me if I talk through them aloud). These are just naturally occurring conversations in the course of daily life."

I'm reading this in someone else's blog and thinking, "YES! Heck Yes! Why do I have to make my kids do these dry textbooks? Savannah, my 7 almost 8 year old, can tell me how many Webkinz you can buy for $1,000 even though she doesn't even know the word "division", and would freak out if faced with an actual division problem. She also counts her money that she earns by cleaning for her great, great Aunt with the greatest of ease (and pleasure! :) She also is getting better at understanding fractions while baking, even though fractions have not yet been introduced in her math book. Her second grade math book is dry and sometimes unchallenging. It is soooo not connected to real life! In the past few weeks, I've been using the kids textbooks as more of a "map" to see what they "need to know for their grade level". I don't even like doing that..... sigh.... but my husband thinks they will "get behind", and someone is going to freak out because they've never heard about a greater than, less than sign. AArrrgggghhhh.

Textbooks, version 2.0

We started the dreaded textbooks this past month. The kids and I are resigned to muddling through them, weeding out the unnecessary. Admittedly some of it has been good for us, and downright enjoyable at times. It has provided my the opportunity to carve out individual time with each child. I love that. It made me realize that I had started to live a little faster than I really want to, and slowing down feels good. The kids do about an hour to 2 hours of "work" a day. They write in cursive, we do English and Math and Spelling together, me learning along with them at times, and refreshing my memory of things long forgotten. But the videos sort of fell by the wayside. They took too long for the kids liking, and didn't help as much with explaining as I thought they would. I kind of wanted a "replacement teacher" (or at least I thought I did), and it turned out not to be what I expected. But that's ok! Because I realized that I really do enjoy doing their textbooks with them, in a more relaxed environment. More relaxed thanks to my seeing that textbooks aren't the only way to learn. We don't do tests. I don't grade their work. There's no need to. I do it with them, so I see them "gettting" the concept. And that's all I'm concerned with. I am constantly on the lookout for more interesting ways to teach them concepts, and this may be a temporary fix. But it's working for the moment, and that's good enough for me.

p.s. to Finding My Way

I have written a lot about my kids and their education, and our lives together on this blog, but I haven't mentioned my husband much. He is so much a part of me, of who I am. Our lives are interwoven in and around each others, and yet I don't write much about him here because that wasn't the original purpose of this blog. Even so, he is so much a part of the tapestry of my life, that I must at least pay tribute to him. It is because of him that I have started on so many fruitful journeys in my life, including my journey to unschooling. I thought of so many things as things that I "just couldn't do", and he has convinced me that I can. One of those was going to the 2005 Live and Learn Conference in St. Louis, Missouri. What a wondrous event. Certainly a jumping off point for me. A bungee jump, a freefall into freedom. :)
Thank you my love, for being my biggest supporter and confidant. My very best friend and father of our wonderful children.

Finding My Way

I had an interesting experience yesterday. I "put my Grandpa to bed with a dirt shovel", as Billy Delaney would say. I went to the graveyard after the rest of my family left, and watched the men lower my grandfather's casket into the ground next to my grandmother's. I was the only member of my whole family to see her casket (well, the metal vault her casket is in), since we buried her 18 years ago. It felt like seeing her again, or at least feeling her presence. The lives people live are never what they seem I think. Sometimes the truth comes out, and sometimes it doesn't. Why is it that we are so prideful as to look down on others for their hidden sins, while we keep ours "in the closet"? Some, I think are certainly more harmful than others, and therefore are sometimes best hidden.... but why do we have this psuedo reality that we try to create? Why not publish the drama? Wouldn't life be a whole lot more interesting? I mean, isn't that why we have books, movies, and TV? Because we LIKE interesting stuff... But then we try to keep our life as predictable as possible. We don't want to cry in front of people, and we don't want our kids to ever do ANYTHING wrong, and we "should" all over ourselves daily, multiple times a day... and for what? We only have 80 years on this earth. Give or take a few, and barring accidents or disease....
I want to live to the fullest. I feel like I am doing the best I can for the most part. I have six children. This provides never ending entertainment, drama, love, tears, frustration, love, kisses and hugs, long conversations, heated arguments, dancing, playing, laughter, love, time spent together, trips to the library, 90 degree days spent swimming, sleepovers, the pleasure of seeing them walk, talk, figure things out, grow up into their own people.... and did I mention the love? I've started doing my best to allow my kids to express their feelings. I don't spank them for crying anymore, and I rarely tell them to "stop it" like I used to. I focus on finding out why they are crying, and do my best to help them feel better. If it's an angry crying, and it's happening because they can't have something, then I try to get them a substitute, or just focus on something else positive they are going to get to do. I am stretching my patience farther than I ever have, and I am enjoying it. Please, oh please, God, don't let it be the Zoloft that is allowing me to be this way. I want to live how I have been recently for the rest of my life. With a postive mindset - not a fearful, guilt ridden, distrusting the human race, one that I was conditioned to have. I am reconditioning my mind to have faith in other people. Especially my children. I no longer believe that they are out to "disobey" when they do something contrary to my liking. I know that they are just following their desires. There is no "evil plan" in their heads to do their best to overthrow my "parental control". I don't want parental control!! I want them to be their own persons. I want them to make good decisions for themselves! I want to help guide them for certain, but I do NOT want to control them.
I am finding my way into such a peaceful place. And enjoying the journey.
Of course sometimes I get sidetracked, thinking that maybe the grass is greener on the other side. But I've seen from observing others that it's not. My grass is green, and keeps getting greener. The more I look for things to love, the more I see. Tonight I soaked in the sight of my sleeping little nine month old, Nae Nae (Nathan). His blond hair that grows just around the base of his head (like an old man's) is about an inch and a half long. Just long enough to make a curl sweeping out from his head, and up. Just above his sweet little ear. His chubby jaws hung slack and his little lips hung open in that relaxed with sleep "o". What a beautiful sight. And what a wonderous thing to touch my lips to his sweet velvety cheek and press. I held them there for a few seconds, just enjoying the softness. This time slips by so fast, and we take it for granted so much....
May you savor the details of your life as they go slipping through your fingers.