(which isn't REALLY sharing anyway)

I hope Scott doesn't mind my adding my own experience to his thoughts (they are below, please read after you read my thoughts)... This particular daily groove reminded me of the other night with my 3 year old (whom we have rarely told NO when it comes to what food she eats - she pretty much sets her own diet with a few suggestions -not commands- from my husband and I).
She had used some of her birthday money to purchase a Hershey bar. Just your run of the mill, plain chocolate Hershey bar. But I doubt she'd ever eaten one before, judging on her reaction. She took one bite, and enthusiasticaly said, "WOW! Mom, Dad, you HAVE to try this!!" It was so cute!
I know some other kids (probably because their diets have been hardset by their parents who were unaware of the selfishness that is promoted by such scarcity theory), who would not have been happy about sharing had they been asked... let alone be delighted for someone else to eat it. And no, it wasn't just the first bite she was excited about, and No, she did not hoard the rest. She continued to give some to her baby brother without a word from us, and shared it down to the last bite.
This to me, proves that children are naturally not selfish all of the time. It is a conditioning that we enforce to become more often in them through the selfishness we model. And we have inherited this from the modeling of our parents' and other people in society's selfishness. This may seem radical to some people. But observe your habits with your children. Do you hide "your" snacks, so that your kids cannot find them? Even if they never find out about that, how could your attitude possibly come off as a sharing one if your attitude is to hide food and not share it with them? How is it that we parents have a tendency to show this "do as I say, not as I do" attitude at times? Do we appreciate people with more experience or authority lording it over us like that??
Back to the subject of sharing which isn't really sharing anyway. In the above example my daughter was truly sharing. It came from her heart. There have been times when she has *not* wanted to share. If I force her to share, then she is only complying to my demands. She is NOT sharing. Which kind of *sharing* do I want to encourage?

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove

:: The Joy of Sharing ::

Imagine yourself back in the throes of puberty, and
you're madly in love with someone who doesn't yet
know how you feel...

You're at a park, enjoying an ice cream cone, when
your would-be lover walks by, sees you, and smiles!
You offer your beloved a bite of your ice cream, and
you're OVERJOYED when the offer is accepted!

Back to the present... Now imagine you're eating some
delicious strawberries. You only have two left, and
you intend to savor *both* of them. Then your child
sees the strawberries and says, "I want one!"

Are you as thrilled to share with your child as you
would be in the first scenario? If not, why the
difference? (Hint: love trumps scarcity.)

The way to raise kids who *enjoy* sharing is for you
to enjoy sharing with *them*. Frequently offer them
bites of your food, for example, and let them know
how good you feel when you're sharing.

When your child doesn't feel like sharing something
with a sibling or playmate, rather than forcing them
to share (which isn't REALLY sharing anyway), find something
that *you* can share joyfully.

As you consistently demonstrate *your* sharing ethic,
they will eventually discover the joy of sharing for
themselves.