Thursday, August 31, 2006

Freedom of Choice

August 27, 2006


Yesterday I started reading more from my John Taylor Gatto book, The Underground History of American Education, and something he said in it rang true to me. It’s one of those things that have been laying around as basic unformed knowledge in my head, and John put it into words.
I’ll paraphrase him, in reference to our society’s modern route to success, here:

What is most deceptive….. is the introduction of an apparently libertarian note of free choice into the equation. Modern society’s people are encouraged to self-start and to proceed on what appears to be an independent course. But upon closer inspection, that course is always toward a centrally prescribed social goal, never towards personal solutions to life’s dilemmas. Freedom of choice in this formulation arises from the FEELING that you have freedom, NOT from its actual possession.

This rings true to me in that most people’s plan for life consists of going to preschool, kindergarten, elementary, middle, then high school, then on to college (and sometimes more than just the 4 years) to get their "successful" start in life. Their success being based on and expected to come from their “education”.
Where is the freedom of choice in this equation? If someone chooses to veer from this plan, say, not sending their child to preschool, or a young adult choosing NOT to go to college, how often is this looked down on?
How many times have we seen TV shows where going to school is a given, and going to college is the high prize you receive if you work hard in school "in order to succeed"?
I watched a show the other night, and saw a girl in her high school years, probably her senior year, opening a letter from the college she chose to apply to. The emotional tide ran high. Her dad stood by her offering his emotional support and approval of his daughter, whether it was an acceptance letter or not. (Of course their preference was that it would be an acceptance letter.) And oh the rapture I saw on her face when she read that the college was pleased to tell her that she had been accepted into it’s halls for furthering her education. You would think she had just been told that her family would be taken care of for the rest of their lives! Never to be in poverty!
But isn’t that what the colleges advertise? Isn’t that the basic reason people are pushed to go there? Don’t kids feel the pressure to financially succeed from elementary school on? And don’t they think that the best route to take is college?
And what is the general consensus if you have NOT gone to college? Or worse yet, if you’ve ONLY got a GED, or heaven forbid, never finished school? You are somehow considered to be less intelligent than the general populace, doomed to a life of servitude, most likely in the food service or lower end of the construction business, right?
But what is the reality? Are these perceptions based on the individual at all? Their actual knowledge or more important their character? No. They only take into account whether or not the person had completed a prescribed curriculum (government curriculum for the most part) for a certain number of years. And it is the same general knowledge that each and every other person has who has completed the same amount of “education”. I encourage you to really think about this. Where has the bulk of your knowledge that you use day to day come from? Has it been gleaned from living everyday life? Learning to open a checking account, Learning financial responsibility, Learning to discipline yourself to do what you need to, not always what you want to..... Learning unselfishness, Learning to get along with people of different ages, sizes, races, PERSONALITIES, etc... are these things that you learn in school?
Again. Where is the individualism? Where is the freedom of choice? How has America, the land of opportunity, become, America, the land of college debt? How has this benefited our society as a whole? Are a lot more people a lot more successful? Who is benefiting from this new regime?
I will teach my children not to base their idea of success on the world’s. I want them to realize that their “education” is just a part of their life (whether this comes from discussion, reading, playing, or even “formal” education if they should need college for their chosen occupations. I will impress upon them that following God’s will in their lives runs far superior to accumulating the world’s knowledge. And living meaningful lives means spending time with their families as opposed to spending time “climbing the ladder” OR as opposed to "finding themselves" OR doing what they "feel" is right.
Personally, I am for real freedom of choice. My children will be encouraged to lead fulfilling lives regardless of what form of education they choose, whether it be “formal” or informal. I will not imprison them in a certain building for 8 hours each weekday, and 2 hours of homework a night. I will not make them complete someone else's curriculum and tell them that this is their only route to educating themselves. There are all kinds of resources for learning. Reading takes time. Asking questions and listening to someone about an interest takes time. Working takes time. If they were in school, they would have only a fraction of the time to learn that they have now. Now they have the freedom to choose their education. Their freedom to live life is actual, not just perceived.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

"Let the teachers do their jobs!"

I was flipping through channels on the radio the other day on the way to the store, and I happened to overhear Mike Gallagher talking about parents going with their kids to their first day of school. I guess some school districts are encouraging this because they are trying to encourage parental involvement with their kids education.
Mike was getting all huffy saying that parents should just butt out of their kids school lives, and "let them go through the rite of passage of going to the first day of school alone".
He had lots of people calling in to agree with him, mostly teachers. Mike had the nerve to say, "Why don't these parents just let the teachers do their jobs?!"

Since when did training our children become the job of strangers? Doesn't God plainly tell us in His Word that we are to train up our children? Does their training end at 5 years old when it's "time" to send them off to kindergarten?
I'm sorry, but just because the world says that I should give my children to someone else to train (including other Christians at a school) does not mean that I am going to. And I challenge all Christians who believe that the Word of God is good for instruction to research this subject! I believe that the Bible's instructions regarding our children cannot be carried out fully if we are not with our children for the 40 hours a week school takes away from us. How are we to mold their character if we do not have the every day chances to do so? How can you mold a child in the evening hours between homework, supper, and bedtime? Why would we give our children such a disadvantage in life as to be seperated from us?
The worldly philosophy of quality vs. quantity time is a farce. As parents, especially as mothers, we have the greatest amount of time and influence with our children. We should use it wisely. We need to step back and re-examine our culture's way of raising its children. Does sending your children away for 40 hours/week allow the time for cultivating a deep and meaningful relationship with our children? Does it allow for us to impart God's wisdom and values in a real life setting at the time that they occur? Does it allow for us to correct our children when they need it? At the moment they cop an attitude towards someone, or something that didn't go their way?
Each one of us, of course, is responsible for our own lives, and must find the answer to these questions for ourselves. But I encourage you to research this! Look on blueletterbible.org for the words children, train, teach, etc... Decide for yourself. Romans 14:5 says "Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind."
Whose job is it to teach our children?

Friday, August 18, 2006

Freedom of Thought: A Human Right

I got this partial quote from an email sent to me from my Homefires email list. It is a quote from John Holt, who is screwed up in some areas, but has some things so right. I like his thoughts below:



"No human right, except the right to life itself, is more fundamental than
this. A person's freedom of learning is part of his freedom of thought, even
more basic than his freedom of speech. If we take form someone his right to
decide what he will be curious about, we destroy his freedom of thought. We
say, in effect, you must think not about what interests and concerns you,
but about what interests and concerns us.

We might call this the right of curiosity, the right to ask whatever
questions are most important to us. As adults, we assume that we have the
right to decide what does or does not interest us, what we will look into
and what we will leave alone. We take this right largely for granted, cannot
imagine that it might be taken away from us. Indeed, as far as I know, it
has never been written into any body of law. even the writers of our
Constitution did not mention it. They thought it was enough to guarantee
citizens the freedom of speech and the freedom to spread their ideas as
widely as they wished and could. it did not occur to them that even the most
tyrannical government would try to control people's minds, what they thought
and knew. That idea would come later, under the benevolent guise of
compulsory universal education."

I'm Bored!!

Today, one of our neighbor friends came over to visit. Travis was asking them how long until school starts, and don't they want to stay home?
The person replied, "No, I want to go to school."
Why? He asked.
"Because, I'm bored." they replied.
I had heard this same exchange of words, a few days ago, when my mom was here to hear it as well, and I commented to her, "Kids get bored because they are used to being spoon fed things to do. Everything is planned for them. They have no idea how to direct their own lives."
I thought about this again today, as I heard this person repeat their comment on boredom at home being a reason for wanting to go back to school. She/he is used to someone else directing his/her life for them, I said to Travis, "They are used to someone giving them things to do, so they don't get bored..." Then, I turned to the friend, and said, "Right?" They nodded, but I'm not sure they fully grasped what I was saying. I don't know if they knew that I meant it was a negative thing or not, but maybe someday they'll reflect on it. I don't know, maybe it was not a nice way to put it. I'm sure my MIL could have come up with a nicer way to say it, but sometimes I get too zealous and can't shut up. That's why I have this blog! :) It's an outlet for my thoughts.
So, anyway, I thought back to a shirt I'd seen this friend wearing at one of my kids birthday parties. It said, "Bored of Education", you know, a play on the words "Board of Education"... but it spoke volumes to me. When I thought about it, I thought, what is education anyway? Is education really what most people think of it as? Going to school for 12 to 16 years out of your life? Can't you get just as good if not better an education by living life, and pursuing your interests? I answer a resounding "Yes!" And you don't get bored of education, because life IS an education.
I thought about that statement, "I'm bored", and I realized that it's been a long while since I've heard that out of my kids! It took them a while to get used to making their own schedules, so the "I'm bored's" didn't stop immmediately after beginning unschooling. I'd say it took about 8 months for them to stop saying it. Even if you are doing "school at home" the traditional way, you are telling your kids what their interests should be, and making "education" a packaged, time limited item. Then you say, "Let's go to the library 'just for fun' and get some books you like!" Isn't that a time of education in itself, though? Why do we have to be made to be 'bored of education'?
I'm happy to see that my kids now for the most part are responsible for their own hours in the day. I don't hear, "I'm bored, there's nothing to do!" because they are used to choosing how to spend their time. There is no time limited or labeled "free time". They are kids! Most of their time is free! And their education is not suffering in the least because of it. In fact it is flourishing.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

What about socialization?? (My favorite topic!)

I used to be one of those people who thought that "socialization" really did mean that it was critical for our children to interact with kids their own age on a regular basis. When I first started homeschooling, and a conversation about it with someone would start in the "socialization" direction, I would respond with the typical, "Well, we have them in gymnastics classes once a week, and they play with their neighborhood friends ALL THE TIME, and then there's church friends, and cousins their age... etc, etc,...."
What do you think about when you hear the word socialization in reference to children? You probably think, like most people do, that it means that a child can stand up for him/herself in a group situation, right? The child has good self esteem, and can play well with kids their own age. They aren't shy or backwards, or hiding behind their parents, right? Sometimes a "socialized" child is one who is expected to be downright obnoxiously opinionated, right? At least they aren't that sickly white "never seen the sun", always in the house at the table doing bookwork, homeschool nerd, right? Socialization is a good thing, right? That's what I used to think to! Please click on this link, or copy and paste into your address bar, for the dictionary's definition of socialization.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/socialization

I was shocked to learn that what I'd heard in some homeschool book I read a long time ago was actually true! I figured it was some biased for homeschooling definition they dug up or made up!
But just googling "dictionary" and clicking on the top choice, and then pasting the word socialization in to the word bar, I came up with more/most of the definition of socialization.
Basically socialization means that your kid/s are:
1.Placed under government, or group ownership control
2.Adopt the current behaviour patterns of the surrounding culture
3.Learn interpersonal and interactional skills that are in conformity with the values of one's society.
4.The socialization of children to the norms of their culture" [syn: socialisation, acculturation, enculturation]

These are real defenitions of socialization. Don't believe me? click on the link!

There is only one definition out of the six available there that refers to what I think MOST people think that socialization means:
v. intr.: To take part in social activities.

I don't know about you, but I don't WANT my child to be socialized in the way the dictionary defines it! I mean the part about social activities is ok, but what about the rest?
I don't WANT my kids to adopt societies ways or values! OR be under government/group ownership control! I want my kids to be thinkers for themselves! Not only in business, and morals, and spiritual beliefs, but in many other ways as well. Anyone who has met my kids for the first time, usually compliments me on how polite they are, or how well behaved. They are mature for their ages when compared to most of the selfish kids in today's society. And that comes from their training. The "socialization" that they have received from us.
Whenever I see my 10 year old just go right up to another kid, and say "Hi! How are you?" and strike up a conversation about Pokemon, or X-box, or anything else that he finds they have in common, I smile at how "socialized" he is. Or my 8 year old son runs off from us into a crowd of 150 people yelling, "Don' worry Mom, I'll find my team!" I picture how some people think homeschoolers hide behind Momma's skirts. I smile, and then laugh out loud, and then have to comment to my husband how much I enjoy homeschooling, and proving people wrong. He laughs at me. He doesn't really care what people think. Maybe someday I'll reach that point. But for now, I can always blog about socialization!
Now, entering our 6th year of homeschooling, and reaching the end of our first year of our way of unschooling, I love seeing my children blossoming socially. They interact with ages 0 to 83 (I'm not sure they've ever met anyone older than that), in the same ways. Looking them straight in the eyes, respectfully, and talking in full sentences (no mumbling). It would not occur to them to treat someone who is not their age any differently. Never being in school, THEY'VE NEVER BEEN SOCIALIZED! :)

Learning through gaming! The Pokemon card game

Tomorrow is another Pokemon free play at Boba's Coffee. We are usually there from 3 to 6pm when we go, and the kids have a blast. The owners are weirdo freaks like us! They have 6 kids under the age of 13, and they homeschool. They unschooled for quite a while, then gave in to the pressure of "what if they aren't getting what they need to learn?" with their older kids, and started using Ohdela. Now, Christie (the mom) is realizing that it's not what she wanted after all, and is heavily considering unschooling again.
Anyway, back to the subject matter. There are a few kids in the "Boba" family (that's not actually their real name), who like to play the Pokemon card game. There's an 11 year old girl, and a 10 year old boy. I'm not sure if there's another 9 year old girl or not. But that's the extent of people my kids' ages that actually play the game. The other people are in their late teens to early twenties. There are about 5 regulars who come on Wednesdays to the free play, and one of them was 3rd best in the state of Ohio a few years ago! They are all very polite people who enjoy getting newbies into the game, and will patiently play for hours on end with my kids.
All the while, my youngest two get to play with Christie's youngest two girls who are 4 and 6 approximately.
Savannah, my 6 year old, Travis my 8 year old, and Jesse my 10 year old all play the actual tournament rules. They know them in varying degrees according to their ages.
Their are quite a few things that I think are useful that my kids get out of playing this card game:
1. They have FUN!
2. They socialize (participate in a social event) with ages 4 to 31 (including their dad).
3.They improve their reading skills. Savannah, who just got out of Grandma Schooling's kindergarten, has greatly improved her reading through these cards. She is learning the meanings of, and how to read all sorts of bigger words like: Defending, Poisoned, Paralyzed, Supporter, Switch, Benched, Opponent, Attached, Active, Damaged, Recycle, Intimidating, Luring, Agility, etc, etc..
4.They improve their math skills. They have to do Subtraction, Addition, and Multiplication in their heads. Some examples are: 70 minus 40, 40 times 2, 40 plus 20, 10 times almost any number, 50 minus 20, etc., etc....
5.They spend quality time with their dad playing this game.
6.They spend quality time with each other! I feel this is just as important as spending time with their Dad and I. The other morning, I woke up, and all 4 of my older kids, ages, 4, 6, 8, and 10 were playing Pokemon on their bedroom floor. They are learning to treat their younger siblings with respect, as well as learning patience with others through teaching their younger siblings this game.
The life lesson benefits that they learn from this game are actually much more important to me than the "educational ones" of math and reading. Learning to treat others with respect and patience regardless of their age is something I highly regard. Spending time having fun with their dad, and each other is also something I regard highly.
7.Meeting new people is good for them too, and this is one of the many side benefits of playing this game.
8.Besides all that, I get to spend some time in conversation with another mom who has similar values to myself!
I used to think that Pokemon was just another mind numbing TV show/game. Seeing my kids participate in it has changed that view drastically! Learning through living.... I'm lovin' it!






Meeting and interacting with people of all ages. Practising Math and reading.... even at 4 and 6 years old.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

My definition of "Unschooling"

I thought it would be a good idea to explain what my definition of "unschooling" is, as there are a lot of people who define it differently than myself.
I define unschooling as the process of learning naturally, without the need of school. Naturally being how God intended us to learn. Without prethought lesson plans, without someone imposing their interests on us and demanding that we memorize facts about it.
We learn best when we are interested in something. This learning can take place in any format, as long as the learner is interested!
Someone commented to my husband and I recently, "Isn't this against your educational philosophy?" We were at a Metro Park at night to hear someone tell us about the stars, their constellations, and let us use their telescope to see them. Kind of a really informal lecture format. You didn't have to sit and listen, you could talk quietly without bothering anyone, and you were there by choice.
But this person thought that because we have said we are "unschooling" that we "don't want to be taught by anyone".... This is inaccurate. We want our children to learn through any means that keeps them interested. This can be through watching TV, reading library books, talking with a family member (a lot of the time that'd be me, my husband, one of their aunts/uncles, and/or a grandparent), or any other person they meet, and they do meet a lot of people of all different ages. They can learn through playing video games, computer games, board games, cooking, baking, observing animals and bugs, seasons and weather changing, and interactive play with each other and their friends, (I'll write more on that in another post.), There are many others ways of learning I'm sure no one could think of all at one time.
All these things are done in everyday life. Not all at once, not compressed into a certain period of "time for learning". Unschooling (learning) for a child is as natural as breathing. Unschooling for a parent, is just being a parent! Helping your child learn what he would like to, and guiding them when they need it.
Another one of the great ways that a kid learns is when their parent is interested in something. The child sees the parent pursuing their interest, and they get curious. Especially when the parent shares what they are learning. We all get excited when we find something particularly interesting, and we want to share, right? Well, that excitement catches the kid's interest. At least for a small period where you share what is exciting you, and they listen for your sake. And if it catches their interest as well, then they may ask questions which lead to more research. If it doesn't interest them, they can go off and do what does interest them. And then later, if the subject comes up again, they have been introduced to it, and the parent can say, "Remember when I was interested in such and such, and I told you about it?"
I have so many examples of how my and my husband's interests have sparked long and interesting conversations with our kids that I guess I'll have to do another post just about that.
Sticking to the current post's subject though, I would like to clarify one of the larger parts of unschooling that I define as different from a lot of unschoolers, especially the radical ones.
I do not believe in the philosophy of child led child-rearing. God put us here as parents to love, nurture, and TRAIN our children. Sometimes this includes having them do things they are not at all interested in doing because they cannot see the good in doing so. Sometimes this means that they need correction and punishment. This also means that they learn responsibility through helping with the housework, indoors and out, helping with their siblings, etc.
So, in a nutshell, to me, unschooling means life without school. It has nothing to do with our parenting style as far as discipline goes, but other than that, it has EVERYTHING to do with it. We are not parents who sit on the sideline, and ask a few questions about our kids homework, because we haven't been with them for the past 7 hours. We are not just the kids' chaffuer to sports events where they hang out with their friends. We are not like the parents I heard about the other day: A recent study shows that most parents actually spend just 30 seconds of quality time with their children each day!
We define our unschooling lifestyle as watching over, helping with, and just plain being aware of most everything our children learn.
They are with us A LOT. We like it that way! And so far, that's what unschooling means to me!

Monday, August 07, 2006

A prayer about learning answered


This evening as we were sitting around the living room, (James, the kids, and I), a prayer that I prayed this morning was answered. It was answered yes, and pretty quickly!
I had prayed that God would allow our spiritual lives to be such a part of our everyday lives, that the children couldn't help but be inundated with all the spiritual knowledge we could share with them. James had been reading a little book to all 5 of them about some kittens for sale, but he of course made up his own words for the pictures that were much more interesting than the book, and had all five of them, ages 2 to 10, laughing. I had to get out the video camera for the last few pages. Then I picked up a book that I'd gotten from the kids section of the library as an intro to the history of money. I myself was curious about it, and figured it would be good info for the kids to know as well. So, even before I could begin reading it myself, I had Savannah, my 6 year old, and Travis my 8 year old, sitting beside me wanting me to read it to them. As I started reading, my 10 year old, Jesse became interested and followed along as well.
It ended with how only 8% of money in circulation is currently bills and coins. The other 92% is computer recorded transfers. Then we began discussing how the Bible talks about the number 666 being in the skin of the forehead or the hand and being used for money, and how the computer chip as big as a grain of rice is already being imbedded in people. Some use it even to open their house locks, and to pay for things.
This brought Jesse to worrying about how he wasn't sure he was comfortable with the idea of living forever, and how would that be? This led to an hour long discussion of eternity, heaven, and hell, what we might look and feel like in eternity, and then into, "How do we know what we believe is right?" This discussion about faith and evidence led Jesse to ask "How do we know we even have the right Bible?"
That question turned into a 10 to 15 minute history lesson from the 1500's to the 1600's, including King James, and how the King James Bible was written and translated from the Greek and Hebrew. During which James explained how all other Bibles were written in Latin so only the priests and such could read it. This was why King James wanted it in English, so that the common people could read it.
The mention of Latin prompted questions from both Jesse and Travis about the latin language. "Where did it come from?", "Who uses it or used it?", "What are some examples of Latin?"
I wish I'd written about this directly after the conversation so that the whole list of things we discussed could be recorded. But I had to read Jaidyn a story to keep her quiet so Dad and Jesse could continue discussing (and Travis could listen uninterrupted). Then I had to put her to bed. But at least for a while, I got to sit in on, and input some into an hour long (probably comparable to the best college lecture/discussions) discourse on Biblical history, Latin Language, spiritual belief, faith (what it is, and how it's used), vocabulary (Jesse learned the definition of many words including scholar), and got to see how much he already knew.
He knew the defenition of faith. We asked him what it was and confirmed it, and if Travis didn't know it already, he found out last night.
This entire conversation was held by Jesse, James, and Travis. James would stop talking, assuming that maybe Jesse wasn't interested anymore because he wasn't looking directly at him. Then Jesse would come up with another question. He'd just been sitting there contemplating what his dad was saying.
I felt privileged and excited to be the mom of such a family! A family who discusses important issues pertinent to our spiritual and physical lives. A family who shares our thoughts, not holding back for fear of anything. A family who allows our children to learn and grow as naturally as God intended them to. With our guidance, pointing them towards Him when they ask questions and are truly interested, NOT our shoving things down their throats that they are not ready for. I love our "unschooled" lives....

My learning about learning

Today I was reminded once again that human beings naturally learn - without the "help" of formal classes and/or workbooks. Conversations, reading books, everyday living: these are the best mediums for learning.
I was listening to a podcast while I was working out this morning. I've been feeling that social pressure of "your kids won't learn what they need to know without a class to teach them" in more than one area. As I listened to some of the posts on "unschooling" or "natural learning" as just plain real learning is commonly referred to, I was overwhelmed with the knowledge that there wasn't really a whole lot of planning that my husband and I really have to "do" to educate our children about life - physical, or spiritual.
The other day, I was asking my husband about what he does in his Sunday school classes with the kids. He teaches a small class each Sunday, and I was having a panic attack that our children weren't "getting what they needed."
"What is it that you want me to be telling them?", he asked. I thought. "Well, I guess about the major Bible stories...." "They already know a lot of those," he replied, "I want my Sunday school class NOT to be boring", he said. I thought about how our children learn "educational" things here at home, and I realized that spiritual teaching will take place the same way; through everyday conversation about how we live, through our reading and discussing the Bible, like when I am reading and something really sticks out to me, and I say, "Hey guys! This is really interesting!" And I set out to share what is exciting me. And because my excitement is contagious, they listen. And soak in information like sponges. MUCH more so than they would if they were listening to some dry lesson prepared by someone "trying to teach" them something. I know they are well intentioned, well thought out lesson plans. But they lack the realism of being pertinent to the moment. This is how humans learn! What matters to us at the moment sinks in and stays! Most of what we feel we "must learn" usually goes in one ear and out the other. (Unless of course we know we're being tested on it, and then it stays in between our ears long enough to do well on the test. Then it goes out the other side.)
So, I prayed as I was working out. I turned off the podcast for a few minutes, and I thanked God for showing me that learning spiritually doesn't have to be dry and hard to swallow or (as I was fearing) hard to share. Just like learning about anything else. I prayed that the Lord would help James and I to so intertwine our spiritual knowledge with our everyday lives that our children would be inundated with it. Soaked, immersed. This way, the idea of Sunday School being "necessary to a child's learning the Scriptures" seems ridiculous. The home is the place where a child will receive most of their spiritual knowledge, just like their "education".