Hmmm... how long has it been since I posted about telling my son that I'd love him if he never did any housework? (and it wasn't a guilt trip, and I could tell that he knew that by the look on his face) I had made peace with the fact that my house may just be messier than I would ideally like for a while, maybe a long while, until I got the time to clean it. But it turns out that once the pressure of control was off, I didn't have to wait for a clean house. It came to me from my loving son.
This morning he got up before me, and cleaned the living room and the kitchen. Yes, I am smug. A happy smug. Not because I "got him to do what I wanted to"... but because I have seen evidence of the fact that parents and children do not have to be in opposing places. We do not have to be controlling each other. We can work together.
I used to think that there were only two options... I told them what to do and when to do it, or they ran over me.... Now I know that my children are whole caring individuals. They are not split into two parts, good and evil that constantly battle each other, and the evil will win if I do not intervene.
They are people just like me. They are naturally social and self preserving at the same time. They naturally want to please themselves AND others.
What a relief to not have to fight for control, and be unhappy when they make decisions that I am not happy with. I can just live my life in direct connection with theirs, peacefully, being thankful for what I have, and not feeling bad about what isn't going my way. Life is good.
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