Like Flowers Unfolding....

It is 5:06am, and I have been lying awake in bed for the last half hour. I am seeing my mind growing in compassion through the books I have been reading. The language they use helps me to see that the black/white, my way or the highway kind of world I grew up in does not have to be, and that that isn't a bad thing.
I titled this post Like Flowers Unfolding, because that is how I have begun to see my children. I want to extend this viewpoint to myself, and to others around me, because it encourages compassion in me. Seeing my children as flowers unfolding came to my mind as I was thinking about how I want to let them have time to grow at their own rate.
I see where that is just a compassionate response that I have been somewhat lacking in because I did not use it with myself, and therefore my needs were not being met. And I am learning that instead of hating myself, I can see myself as a person who has a hard time being compassionate, because I have had no reservoir of self love to draw from. Allowing myself to meet my own needs is creating a compassionate response in me.

Watching this process this morning in my mind, I can see that it is a slow one, and a process that requires gentleness. Like a flower needs time, and gentle watering, and sunshine to unfold its petals, a person needs time, gentle communication, and love to unfold as he/she grows. Make no mistake, it will happen. People will grow as surely as the flowers.
I can do damage to my children too, by pushing them to do something against their will (when they are not ready for it) This will only damage their growth. It would be like a flowers petals being pulled apart "because it is going to have to grow someday!"
How many times I have heard people say, "Well, they are going to have to listen to people when they grow up, they need to start learning that now!" Do I really want to take that harsh viewpoint? Pulling the petals apart because the flower is going to "have to grow eventually"? No. I want my children to grow up beautifully, at their own pace, knowing deep down that they are important. That their needs matter. I want them to value themselves. This will allow them to see others as important. As people whose needs matter too. They will have the same compassion and respect for others that they have for themselves.
They will develop this in time, as they mature.
As a child, I do not expect them to have that compassion, or respect for others as an automatic response. They are still growing. This is the time when they need that gentle watering, that loving environment.
When children feel that their needs are not being met they may scream, or lash out. But this is not the time for reprimands, it is the time for understanding. I do not want to look back years later, and realize that I pulled apart the petals of my child's growth too soon. The damage done would only cause my loved one to have to begin again, trying to mature without interruption. And if I continue to rush their development, how much longer will it take?
And if I crush the flower, not allowing the petals to open, am I being protective, or am I stopping its growth?
Their is no need to decide When to Pull Petals Apart (by forcing a child to do something they are not ready to do), or When to Hold the Petals Closed (by not allowing a child to do something they are ready for). The child will grow on its own.
I want to stand back, and watch my child grow, watering when needed, being the sunshine of love, and just enjoying the beauty of each one of my wonderful children.
I am going to follow the advice I heard from a fellow unschooler:

"I encourage everyone to take whatever it is that they are struggling with the most, and just Let It Go. Release it. Stop fighting... and I think you will be so unbelievably blessed by the results. Joy follows."

My children will listen. When it is time. When they learn to. On their own. They will listen if it is right. They will not bow to unrealistic demands. They will listen compassionately to those who need when their needs have been met. When they have grown enough through people listening compassionately to them.

I was thinking about when I get stressed out, and make demands, how my husband gives of himself when I need, and how he does it without blame a lot of the time, even when I could be seen as selfish in the way I "demand" that I "need" uninterrupted time to get things done, and how I "need" help with the house and taking care of the children's needs. He sees that I have a need, not that I am being demanding. He is most able to see this when his needs have been met, i.e., he is not hungry, sleepy, or stressed out. I appreciate it when he is able to do this for me, and I want to do the same for my children. In fact, I want everyone to do the same for my children, and my children to do the same for everyone else.... But I am not the one who can choose those things. I can only choose my actions and reactions.
So, instead of beginning my day thinking of myself as a mother duck trailing her ducklings, I am going to admire the beauty of the process, of the six flowers that I had the pleasure of giving birth to, unfolding around me.